Well, I did it. Something about the springtime blossoming outside on my drive home gave me the nerve to finally gather up my courage in both hands and send this email to my mother:
Hi Mom,
This may seem like it's coming totally out of left field, but... I would really like for us to be able to talk about my 'orientation' now that I'm not confused and sobbing, LOL. The only time we discussed it was that conversation last year, which (I'm sure you agree) was an unmitigated disaster. :) Now that we've both gotten a bit of distance, I'd like to bring it out into the open again. I'm sure you have a lot of questions, and I want to answer them. At the moment, I feel like you're uncomfortable every time I so much as mention Aphrodite's name (which may or may not be the case, but it does feel that way). I want you to understand that this isn't something she dragged me into, but a part of myself that has always been there, something that I'd been trying to ignore since middle school. Financial and academic hardships aside -- emotionally, I'm happier than I've ever been, and I hope you can be happy for me. But for that to happen, I think we have to be able to be open with each other, and I don't feel like we're doing that very well right now. Are you okay with trying again?
I love you...
Athena
I wonder what she'll do -- if she'll ignore it, or if she'll write back right away, or if she'll show it to my dad (who accepts me and Aphrodite wholeheartedly) and ask what to do, or if she'll sleep on it, or... what.
Anyway, I'll keep you posted. But I'm glad I'm finally financially independent, on the off chance that I may have just signed my death sentence. Gulp.
15 April 2008
"Just close your eyes and jump!"
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3 comments:
wow it seems weird to say I'm proud of you since I only know you from your blog, but I'm proud of you! I held my breath while reading your post. At least you got it out there and now you can find out where she stands and then either move on or work on it. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.!
Athena, that was an incredibly brave thing for you, and to take the chance and bring it up again shows just what sort of character you have. As the previous commenter stated, I really am proud of you.
Good on ya Grrl ! That was a really gutsy thing for you to do, and the email was quite gracious and gracefully written. I'm proud of you, too.
p.s. evidently this comment has been brought to you by the letter 'G' :)
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